Karmic Conundrums
by Lila Priceless
Summary: The souls of the dead are judged by their life's work. Most people go to Heaven or Hell, but the actions of some people get them sent to a special place.


Disclaimer: Naruto does not belong to me.

Chiyo's afterlife was boring. Sure she had her own personal hot springs, fishing hole and servants, but it was boring. She couldn't get a good laugh by playing dead. She was dead. There's no fun in that. True she had been a killer in her youth, had trained several more killers, raised a mass murderer of a grandchild, and trapped a demon inside an innocent child but Enma had promised a reprieve since she also had saved many lives with her medicine and sacrificed her life making amends to the wronged child.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Enma had spent days weighing the life of the man before him. He was a killer like all shinobi, but he truly believed killing should be a last resort and that one day people would truly understand each other. He peeped at women mercilessly, but never violated one physically. He even tipped hostesses exorbitantly! On top of that he shared his ill gotten, not to mention depraved and delusional knowledge to the delight of shy, lonely and perverted everywhere. Even his death was an enigma. He could have saved his own life, but instead used the last of his energy to send a message that could save thousands of others. He was a problem. Never before had someone so bad done such good things or should it be someone so good who did such bad things. Never the less it was his duty as god of the underworld and judge of the dead to weigh the lives of the departed and deliver justice to their souls.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Jiriaya bowed respectfully before walking into the afterlife Enma had chosen for him. He smiled lecherously as he saw a slender figure rounding a corner carrying a tray of food. His attention was diverted as another beauty beckoned him down a hallway. He watched the narrow hips sway gently and listened attentively as the husky bedroom voice led him to his quarters. It was only when his guided stooped to open the sliding door Jiriaya noticed the simplistic obi. A quick peep over the shoulders confirmed the lack of breasts.

"Excuse me, are you a male?" Jiriaya asked hoping for the first time ever to see a flat chested female.

The guide bowed graciously before answering the question with a smile, "Yes, Jiraiya-sama, all of the servants in this compound are male."

"All of the servants are male? You're too pretty to be a man." Jiraiya uttered clearly confused. He knew the knockout he saw earlier was a fine specimen of womanhood. "Are you sure you're all male, no females hiding anywhere?"

"Yes, Jiriaya-sama, all of us servants are male. There were circumstances in our former lives which delivered us this place. However, we do have a mistress who resides on the other side of the outdoor bath. Please ring the bell if you need anything"

"Thank you. I ah appreciate the help." Jiriaya answered eagerly making plans to pay a visit to the baths.

"If the male servants looked like women, then their mistress surely had to be something else," the pervert theorized as he quickly undressed praying he didn't have to wait too long to meet the compound's sole female occupant.

As soon as he stepped outdoors he heard the distinct sound of splashing and a feminine laugh. He moved quietly and quickly hoping to catch a glimpse of something other than wet hair drying on a rock as he introduced himself. "My lady name is Jiriaya. I am pleased to make your…AAAARRRGGGGGHHHHH!"

The shallow pool Chiyo was lounging in afforded little modestly as its clear water showed her naked body in vivid detail. She instinctively moved to cover herself then thought better of it as she moved to rescue the unconscious drowning man.

"Jiraiya heh? S-Class pervert wanted for peaking in all the shinobi and civilian countries." Chiyo cackled as she dragged him to the edge of the water to perform CPR and lowered her lips to his, "Thank you Enma!! I've always preferred younger men."

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_Author's Note: In Japanese mythology Enma is the god who judges the dead. _


End file.
